Keeping Rabbits.

Tb (The Bast**d) has decided to keep rabbits for breading.

The house we lived in had a large garden with plenty of room for the odd rabbit hutch. The house also had an out-house which actually was in the house, a mad idea of the architects I think. Luckily it also had a door which lead to the out side. It was a dark room with no windows just a few old tea-chests which we used when moving in.

This is where Tb decided to keep the rabbits one in each tea-chest. He put some news paper on the base of each chest and two cereal bowls one for water the other for food, out of the kitchen cupboard. A rabbit was put into each box. After a few days the out house stunk of uncleaned rabbits and so did the adjoining stairs leading to the living room. Dad said he better get them in some hutches out side. Tb said he was waiting for a friend to make some. They never arrived and slowly all the rabbits died one by one. What a total bastard he was! Plus mum and dad should have done something about it.

This is not the only cruelty he has done to animals, I will touch on this in a later blog.

A Day Trip to the Seaside

This is only a short episode in the life and times of me (hazel) just a follow on of what has been said in my earlier blogs. I was just eleven and Sis seventeen.

A trip to the sea side. Every kid love a trip to the sea side and I was no exception.

Tb or as earlier readers know is short for The Bast**d. He has decided to take us all to the coast for the day, Mum will only have to buy the petrol. Tb on the other hand will borrow a car!?

A quite new car with Tb driving turned up out side. We all piled in Sis in front with the baby on her knee, Mum and me in the back.

During the dive some girls were walking on path as we drove past wearing short skirts. Mum said, there skirt are a bit high. Tb replied, I prefer girls around eleven. Don't you think that this would set alarm bells going with most parents, I know it would have me, especially when her eldest daughter got pregnant by him at fifteen!

When we got back home Tb cleaned the car inside and out and took it back, makes you think doesn't it.

Sis & Tb Move In

We have moved house to a three bedroom end terrace. I am ten and a half years old, Sis is sixteen.

I was excited about getting a new big bedroom all to my self. I moved into my new bedroom and enjoyed the space for a whole week before Sis, Tb and baby Jim came to live with us. They had been kicked out of his parents house so needed some where else to live.

I moved into the box room. Great ! The Bast**d is living under the same roof as me!

What was worse Mum no longer worked at the bakery, she now was a nursing auxiliary at a city hospital on nights. Dad also had a new job working shifts at the Coking Plant, across from the coal mine were he previously worked.

Mum and Dad were both on nights.

I sat on the edge of the bed waiting for Sis and Tb to go to bed. In the end room on the top of the landing came a crack and then crying, then quite. O good they have gone to bed. I get undressed and snuggle down to sleep. There's a creak on the landing! good he's just going for a wee. More talking, Sis starts crying again.

Next morning Sis comes down stairs to make Jim's bottle. I ask if she is ok? Yes! I tripped last night and banged my face. She had a black eye and a swollen lip.

The next night followed in a similar manor. talking crying and the nothing.

All quite until I feel a hand over my mouth! He grabs my hair and threatens me, I tell him to go and I'm going to shout Angie. You do he says and I will kill her,and you know I can. After seeing what he had done the night before I had no reason not to believe him. He left me there crying into my pillow.

Dad hadn't see Sis for a couple of days mainly because he would come in form work get his breakfast and go strait to bed.

Sis and Jim stayed in the bedroom nearly all day, only coming down to make the baby a bottle or get him some food. This was the norm they stayed in the bedroom all day when our parent were at home.

It's a school day, when I get home Sis is up set and waiting for me.

Dad has gone to work mum is out at her friends then going strait on to work. The Bast**d had gone to the pub with his mates and doesn't com home until midnight the next day.

Sis told me that dad had tried to throw Tb out and she had not let him. Mum had been on her side and told Dad to leave him. Dad had said no one was going to hit his daughter! Sis told Dad it was an accident and she had fell. Dad gave in and went to work.

I wish Dad had had a bit more back bone. I loved him so much, but he was so easily over powered by my mum and didn't like to upset Sis.

A few days pass may be a week or so, its a week day not sure what day. Tb and Sis come down stairs and give me the baby to hold. We are just nipping across to the shops watch Jim. This was just as I got in from school around 3:30-4: pm. 6:30 no sign of them, mum had got up about an hour earlier and now setting off to work. Dad was at work and wasn't due back until around 10pm. I made Jim a bottle, I never made one before so had to read the label.

8pm no sign of Sis.

I changed the baby's nappy and put him to bed.

10pm Dad rang and said he had to stay at work and to do a double one. In other words, to say and do another shift on top of what he had just done, he would be back around 6:30 the next morning.

I had to get up in the night to change Jim and give him a bottle. Then the alarm went off for school. I had had Jim in bed with me all night as he wouldn't settle. Still no Sis? I was very tired and didn't know what to do. I went in to my parents room Dad had come in unaware that I had been looking after the baby since yesterday tea time. Dad looked bang out there was no way I wanted to wake him. Mum should be in soon, but she was a little late as she stayed in town to buy some new shoes I think or some thing like that.

10/11 am baby had had a big poo and got it every where, no disposables then. YUK.

I was just finishing bathing Jim and getting him dressed when Mum arrived home closely followed by Sis. I can't remember any fuss being made over the situation and I don't think Dad even knew what had happened. I was just pleased Sis was ok, I can remember worrying a great deal about her.

And such was life on Elm Street. I had no self esteem and hated my life, I so much needed some one to talk to badly.

please note the baby above is not Jim but of a child around the same age.

New Motorbike for Tb

This post is very difficult for me to tell. It addresses abuse and blackmail.
We are still living in a two bedroom prefab bungalow built in the mid 1950s. I am ten years old.
A lot of what I am going to talk about is a little hazy in my memory, but some as real as only yesterday.


I can't remember how or why I went for a walk with Tb, ( The Bast**d) I know we went down into the meadows at the bottom of the village. I have always been interested in wild life and I think Tb said there were tadpoles in a little pond? Any way I went for a walk with him. I wish I hadn't, but it would have only delay the inheritable. Yes Tb forced him self on me. I screamed but there was no one to hear me. I fought him off but he was too strong. I cried and asked him to stop, but this made him more excited. How I hated him. I didn't really know what he was doing but I knew it was wrong! Thankfully he was very quick. He said he was only playing. I wanted to go home. He said it was just a game. I can't remember much about the threats, only that there were some. What I can remember, I didn't tell any one. I wish I had told sis, but she was having a bad time walking into doors! if you know what I mean. I don't think she would have done any thing she was just sixteen and to scared of him.


Tb was always looking at me and some times following me, I was getting quite scared of him.
Sis was also scared of Tb, but also loved him very much. What ever he wanted she would go with out so he could have it.

When we were growing up, we was encouraged to save any money and put it in the local bank. Tb had used sises money and now was after mine.
Sis and Tb turned up on a motorbike that he wanted to buy from a friend of his.
Sis had told him I had fifty pounds in my bank account. In 1965 this was a good sum of money for a child to have saved. Every birthday and Christmas money I had put in the bank.

Sis said, can Tb borrow your £50 from the bank? he will pay you back. No I said. Sis said only he want to buy this bike for fifty pounds. Tb: let me talk to her. He corners me! If you lend me the money I will leave you alone. What else could I do! Mum came in from the kitchen: 'where are you going'? I said I have to go to the bank because Tb wants to borrow all my money. Mum : you know you wont get it back. Sis: yes she will, we will give her it back as soon as we can. I was hoping mum would say no she's not, but all she said is well that's up to you. For gods sake woman! I was ten years old and been pushed into giving all my savings away, couldn't she see that!

He got his money and no I didn't get it back and no he didn't leave me alone.

I will continue my story in the next post.