This post is very difficult for me to tell. It addresses abuse and blackmail.
We are still living in a two bedroom prefab bungalow built in the mid 1950s. I am ten years old.
A lot of what I am going to talk about is a little hazy in my memory, but some as real as only yesterday.
I can't remember how or why I went for a walk with Tb, ( The Bast**d) I know we went down into the meadows at the bottom of the village. I have always been interested in wild life and I think Tb said there were tadpoles in a little pond? Any way I went for a walk with him. I wish I hadn't, but it would have only delay the inheritable. Yes Tb forced him self on me. I screamed but there was no one to hear me. I fought him off but he was too strong. I cried and asked him to stop, but this made him more excited. How I hated him. I didn't really know what he was doing but I knew it was wrong! Thankfully he was very quick. He said he was only playing. I wanted to go home. He said it was just a game. I can't remember much about the threats, only that there were some. What I can remember, I didn't tell any one. I wish I had told sis, but she was having a bad time walking into doors! if you know what I mean. I don't think she would have done any thing she was just sixteen and to scared of him.
Tb was always looking at me and some times following me, I was getting quite scared of him.
Sis was also scared of Tb, but also loved him very much. What ever he wanted she would go with out so he could have it.
We are still living in a two bedroom prefab bungalow built in the mid 1950s. I am ten years old.
A lot of what I am going to talk about is a little hazy in my memory, but some as real as only yesterday.
I can't remember how or why I went for a walk with Tb, ( The Bast**d) I know we went down into the meadows at the bottom of the village. I have always been interested in wild life and I think Tb said there were tadpoles in a little pond? Any way I went for a walk with him. I wish I hadn't, but it would have only delay the inheritable. Yes Tb forced him self on me. I screamed but there was no one to hear me. I fought him off but he was too strong. I cried and asked him to stop, but this made him more excited. How I hated him. I didn't really know what he was doing but I knew it was wrong! Thankfully he was very quick. He said he was only playing. I wanted to go home. He said it was just a game. I can't remember much about the threats, only that there were some. What I can remember, I didn't tell any one. I wish I had told sis, but she was having a bad time walking into doors! if you know what I mean. I don't think she would have done any thing she was just sixteen and to scared of him.
Tb was always looking at me and some times following me, I was getting quite scared of him.
Sis was also scared of Tb, but also loved him very much. What ever he wanted she would go with out so he could have it.
When we were growing up, we was encouraged to save any money and put it in the local bank. Tb had used sises money and now was after mine.
Sis and Tb turned up on a motorbike that he wanted to buy from a friend of his.
Sis had told him I had fifty pounds in my bank account. In 1965 this was a good sum of money for a child to have saved. Every birthday and Christmas money I had put in the bank.
Sis said, can Tb borrow your £50 from the bank? he will pay you back. No I said. Sis said only he want to buy this bike for fifty pounds. Tb: let me talk to her. He corners me! If you lend me the money I will leave you alone. What else could I do! Mum came in from the kitchen: 'where are you going'? I said I have to go to the bank because Tb wants to borrow all my money. Mum : you know you wont get it back. Sis: yes she will, we will give her it back as soon as we can. I was hoping mum would say no she's not, but all she said is well that's up to you. For gods sake woman! I was ten years old and been pushed into giving all my savings away, couldn't she see that!
Sis and Tb turned up on a motorbike that he wanted to buy from a friend of his.
Sis had told him I had fifty pounds in my bank account. In 1965 this was a good sum of money for a child to have saved. Every birthday and Christmas money I had put in the bank.
Sis said, can Tb borrow your £50 from the bank? he will pay you back. No I said. Sis said only he want to buy this bike for fifty pounds. Tb: let me talk to her. He corners me! If you lend me the money I will leave you alone. What else could I do! Mum came in from the kitchen: 'where are you going'? I said I have to go to the bank because Tb wants to borrow all my money. Mum : you know you wont get it back. Sis: yes she will, we will give her it back as soon as we can. I was hoping mum would say no she's not, but all she said is well that's up to you. For gods sake woman! I was ten years old and been pushed into giving all my savings away, couldn't she see that!
He got his money and no I didn't get it back and no he didn't leave me alone.
I will continue my story in the next post.
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